For A Thousand Of Years
by Crazy To My Bones
Summary: Oneshot turned multi-chapter. After more than five years of the big incident that changed their life. Adrian is having a very hard time keeping his emotions to his best friend, Christian, hidden. But Christian is damaged. Being raped wasn't something you can move on from it easily. One-shot. A sequel if you want. AH. Very Slight scene of how Adrian found Christian trapped.
1. Chapter 1

**One-shot.**

**NA : If you wanna a sequel, I'm writing it now. If you want it just tell me and I'll post it.**

**This really helps me with the draining I've been suffering lately 'cause of the very fast very quickly UD for my five-stories.**

**Christian and Adrian, enjoy..**

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**For A Thousand Of Years..**

I watched his trembling lips, his teary eyes and his wide smile. He was happy for the happily ever after the characters of the movie just had. Though I was sure he would never admit it.

Even if he didn't believe in that in our real life. Movies and books were exceptions of his unbelieving state his last boyfriend caused.

My best friend since elementary school, Christian Ozera, was a very complicated personality. However that never affected our friendship. Not even when he came out of the closet to me confessing his real feelings about being interested in guys. Never did I judge him when he was going out with some guys whom were less than he deserved. Guys wanted to use him 'cause of his sexual orientation.

I stayed by his side when he'd stay up all night graving and babbling about his own luck and love life after a very bad and harsh break up. And the next one. And the next one.

People would always ask, how the two of us became best of friends. How a rich straight handsome happy guy like me would be the best friend of an emo gay depressed poor guy. Well, they didn't see what I saw.

Under the harsh emo exterior of that young man, there was the warmest much loving and caring heart in the whole world. Under that bitter smile, there was thousands of emotions. And even under that icy attitude that matched his eyes color, there was a lot of fire.

Aside from his family, no one would see or know Christian Ozera the way I do. No one got to broke through his wall but me. No one bother but me. And I'm really proud and happy I did 'cause that's how I gained the most loyal caring best friend in the world.

I still remembered the day he came to me happy talking about the guy that asked him out. He said he was very nice and handsome and he only asked for a date. Nothing more. I was so happy for him even though it killed me knowing that. I didn't know why. Shouldn't I be happy that he could finally find someone special. Found someone good for him. I wasn't happy.

And when he came after his date dancing I was so shocked.

_Flashback.._

"_I'm telling you, he's just amazing and caring. We barely touched. It's like he was worried I'd freak out and run away. He opened the door to me and walked me to the porch." He said before throwing himself at my bed and sighing dreamily. "I can't believe that, Adrian. I don't want to hope."_

_I sighed before sitting on the edge of my desk watching the happy smile on my best friend's face. "Easy tiger. You know I don't want you to get hurt."_

_He frowned at me. "C'mon, Adrian. Don't do that. I'm not getting hurt. Jesse is so nice. I never had such a first date like that one."_

"_And?" I asked raising a brow._

"_And I'm happy. And I think it's going to be fine. Just the way my adopted fathers have it." He said grinning at the mention of his fathers._

_End of the flashback.._

One of the (special) things about Christian was his family state. It was such a weird story. When he was five his parents committed a very terrible crime that caused them to be sent to prison for a very long time. His only relative was his aunt, Tasha Ozera, whom didn't want to have him 'cause she was busy building her life with her Russian boyfriend, now husband, Dimitri Belikov.

That caused him to be sent to the child services.

The first day he was there he met a gay couple whom wanted to adopt a child as their own. I remembered once when they told me about the story.

_Flashback.._

"_Eddie was thinking he wanted to adopt a girl. He said it'd be better not to affect some boy to be gay. Not that we're ashamed of it but for him not to be told some bad things." Mason, Christian's adopted father, said with a smile to his husband whom was sitting next to him then to his son next to me._

_Christian made some annoyed noises caused the couple to chuckle. "Sorry, son, but Adrian is a family." Eddie, Christian's other adopted father, said with a smile before pouring some wine in his husband's, and best friend, glass._

"_You didn't make me gay. I chose that myself. Well, it's who I am not a choice actually." Christian protested trying to change the subject._

"_Please, keep going." I said very interested in the story earning a smack on the back of my head from Christian. I just ignored him._

"_And we were walking around to see that new kid just came in. He had that black raven hair and that amazing smart icy blue eyes. I could tell he was nervous but he had a hell of an attitude." Mason said and chuckled at the memory._

"_Yeah. I remember Mason pulling me to meet the young boy. He was such a handsome kid when he was young. Still is." Eddie said nodding with a proud smile._

"_We shook hands and introduced ourselves to him." Mason said remembering. "He had such a proud tone when we asked him about his name."_

"_Christian Ozera." Eddie said. "Then he added, I'm not changing my name for adoption."_

_I heard Christian chuckling and trying miserably to hide it with a cough. "I told him that it was okay. and that he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to do it." Mason added finally._

"_Yeah, then came that big lady. She was trying to take me to have a bath 'cause I just came and they wanted me clean." Christian commented sarcastically._

"_And you ran hiding behind our fathers." Said a feminine voice that belonged to the girl leaning casually at the door frame. She was such a beautiful girl with brown long hair and dark big chocolate eyes. Rose Castle-Ashford was smiling sarcastically before she walked to the table kissing her fathers' cheeks then joining us to the table._

_She smirked turning to Christian. "You know it was supposed to be me alone. Happy lonely child." She waggled her eyebrows at him._

_Christian rolled his eyes at her before saying. "It was supposed to be a lot of testosterone, you just had to stick your estrogen between us."_

_Rose chuckled. "You don't have testosterone, Christian. We already know that."_

_That family was different 'cause even though every time I looked between them I thought that it was easy to say they weren't related by blood yet what was bounding them was much more. Much stronger._

_They were a real family. More real than my own family that was related by blood. They had unlimited love and loyalty and everything that was supposed to be a family._

"_I love you brother." Rose teased him before giving him a noisy kiss on the cheek. He looked at her with a frown before he burst out laughing._

_End of the flashbacks.._

And that was why he was believing before that motherfucker Jesse Zeklos destroyed him completely. To the level I thought it was impossible to have my best friend back. To the level no one should be hurt or damaged. To the level of pure evil. To the level of him suffering nervous breakdown. To the level of being physically hurt.

I just still remember my shaky fingers dialing the number of 911 to save my best friend.

_Flashback.._

"_911, what can I do for you?" The feminine calm tone answered after the first ring._

"_I want to report. My best friend is being raped." I said fighting my tears driving my way to the address I drove to earlier giving Christian a ride to his boyfriend's place._

_End of flashback.._

I was so crazy. I handed him to the devil myself.

The things happened, the things I heard and did. They were all unlike me but I just couldn't help when I heard what I heard.

_Flashback.._

_I just came from taking Christian to his date when Rose, Christian's sister, called me horrified._

"_Adrian, where the hell are you?! Is Christian with you?!" She asked rashly at the verge of crying which was so unlike her._

"_Chill, Rose. I just drove him to Jesse's place. They have a date and he said Jesse is going to give him a ride later." I said not really releasing how freaked out she was._

"_Go back to him." I turned right away as I heard the rest of the explanation. "Some guys paid Jesse money to seduce Christian. They're some adults. I don't know it all but they want to rape him. Oh, god. Adrian, tell me where is he?" She was asking before I disconnected the line calling 911._

_Every memory we passed through together was running before my eyes as I drove as fast as I could never stopping for anything._

_I just wished and prayed for the first time in my life. "Please, keep him safe. Please don't let them touch him." And the tears never stopped and the anger kept burning._

_Luckily, my dad had took my car to do some hunting the other day and I still didn't clean up or take his tools out. The shotguns were still in the trunk where he left them._

_Lazy but that came in handy for the first time in my life._

_I jumped out of the car never bothering with the door or the key. The only time I wasted was for me to take the shotgun out running to the front door._

_I shot at the lock and the door opened in front of me nothing to hold him but his three hinges. I ran in as Christian's tired screams rang through the place._

"_Please, let me go. I didn't do anything to you." He begged and I knew he was crying._

_End of the flashback.._

Despite all the changes and the hard exterior he was putting after what happened in Jesse's house he wasn't anything like it before.

He was so close to Eddie whom was the so-emotional of his fathers. Unlike Rose whom was closer to Mason. As a result, Christian picked up a lot of Eddie's characteristic hence the delicate emotional side he had. A side I never saw since I drove him to Jesse's house years ago.

He turned to me from his spot on the couch and smiled sarcastically. "That movie was so gay." He murmured.

"Fit you good enough." I replied with a smirk of my own.

He threw the empty plastic bowl that was filled of popcorn two hours ago at me. I caught it before it could get to me. "Shut up, Ivashkov."

I just rolled my eyes at him before turning the blank TV off. "I'm hungry, are we going out or what?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

He shrugged. "I don't feel like cooking today, do you?" I shook my head. "Okay, then. I'll get ready." I nodded watching him getting up leaving the living room to his bedroom.

We were in the penthouse we were sharing in California. Weird? Well, it was the same place we lived in since we were in college and we chose it in the first place 'cause of the guarding.

It was only a year after the incident and there were days when the past pressed so tightly over him. But even now as we graduated and were having our careers all shiny and goody I never questioned our residence. I never wanted to hurt him by remembering such horrible memories. Besides, if we wanted a beach house, there's always his fathers' beach house where we were always welcome.

"Aren't you going to change?" Christian said standing in front of me folding his arms over his chest unhappy.

I looked down at myself noticing that I was still in my tank top and sweats. I jumped running to my room right away. "Yeah, sorry."

"Just hurry, I'm getting really hungry which isn't good. At all." He warned me and I rolled my eyes hearing his usual threat about food.

There in my room looking at my boxer-cladded body, the memory of Christian tied node body attacked me causing me to drawn the hardest of breaths.

_Flashback.._

_I ran in following the trace of the fighting mess and the sharp sound of Christian screams. My blood never boiled that way before._

"_Someone shut his mouth." A guy shouted angry._

"_No, let him shout like the bitch he is. Get the camera set, Jackson." Said another as I snapped the door open shooting once to the ceiling._

"_Get away from him with your hands up of I swear none of you is going to walk out alive." I threatened them as their shocked terrified faces looked at me._

_Christian was there lying on his stomach tied to the bed with his naked skin exposed before me. I felt the urge of killing someone. That when we all heard the sound of the police cars arriving._

_The gun in my hand I ran to broken Christian cutting his ropes with my pocket knife, covering his nakedness with the closest sheet hugging him to me. In a blur I could hear the sound of fighting and arresting but I didn't care. Only he mattered._

"_Adrian." He whispered struggling to me sobs shaking his chest._

_I hugged him tightly whispering the only things I managed saying. "It's okay, honey. You're safe. I have you with me now. Nobody is going to hurt you. Never."_

"_I fought them but they were much stronger. I couldn't beat one of them let alone three." He told me with a horrified tone and my heart broke for him._

"_I know babe. It's okay. I'm here. I came to help and save you love." I murmured to him saying words I never said before and I didn't say them to anyone till now except for him._

_End of flashback…_

That night, Christian was scared to the level that I had to carry him out of the house to the ambulance holding him the whole way. To be honest, I didn't let go of him for the whole week. Nor did his fathers and Rose.

"Adrian, are you coming out or what?" Christian knocked on my door over and over.

I woke from my trance sliding my green shirt over my head before opening the door to him running to the closet to bring my shoes. "Just my shoes." I called from over my shoulder.

"What's going on with you, Adrian? You look so weird today." He said sitting at the edge of dresser watching me tying my shoes.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what got over me today. Here, I'm ready, are we going out or what?" I asked standing at my door.

He scanned me for a moment before he nodded. "Yeah, sure."

And we walked to the front door to leave the place.

We took my car this time 'cause Eddie just called Christian and he seemed deep in the conversation.

"No, dad. Not that again." He sighed. "Yeah, I used to love it. Years ago." Sighing again he said. "Working in a designing magazine as a lawyer for six months has nothing to do with my fashion love." He chuckled. "Fine. I'll go. But it's the two of us. I don't need Rose remark about gay father-son quality time." He said sarcastically knowing well that his sister would easily say such a joke.

"Yeah, we're going out for food. I'll tell him. Say hi to pa, okay. Love you too." He said before disconnecting the line. "He's saying hi."

I nodded. "Going to the fashion show again?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, you know him. It's all 'cause he wished I was the one taking over his designing business when he retired." He shook his head. "You know I can't say no to him 'cause once I wanted that too."

I nodded to him silently remembering how my best friend changed from a happy guy to an emo depressed..

_Flashback.._

"_Sometimes I feel like he's blaming us for what happened." Eddie murmured sadly from his seat next to Mason. I was sitting across from them in the hospital cafeteria where Christian was staying after his nervous breakdown. Rose was the one watching over him now._

_Mason took his hand and squeezed it. "Don't blame yourself, Eddie. You couldn't have known. None of us could." But I knew he wasn't believing any of his words._

_The two of them blamed themselves. I was blaming myself. Rose was blaming herself._

_Even Christian's words, some of them, were blaming us. Even if he didn't mean it._

_It was horrible. The way he started reacting. Kicking some of us out. Ignoring our phone calls when we had to leave home for shower or change. The way he'd go all cold or all angry._

_With therapy, it all faded away except for the bitter smile. Except for the slightest depression. The change in interest. The designer wanted to be a lawyer. And instead of the fire, there was ice._

_End of flashback.._

One thing never changed though, we were still best friends. Nothing was going to change that. Not even him pushing me as far as he could.

I wasn't leaving the love of my life.

Yeah, here I admitted it. I was in love with him.

"Adrian, Adrian." Christian's voice woke me up from my trance pulling my attention to him.

"Yeah?" I asked turning to him slightly before turning back to the road.

"I was saying the Italian restaurant would be good tonight." He said and I could feel his eyes digging holes in my profile.

I nodded. "You're right." I said taking the right turn to go to the restaurant. It was one of Christian's and my favorite places to eat in.

In the road we passed by a couple holding hands walking at the sidewalk. I noticed Christian rolling his eyes when I smiled to their action. And I sighed remembering how I fell in love with him without even noticing.

How I had changed from a straight playboy to someone in love with his gay best friend. Of course I never told him that. I couldn't do that seeing that he didn't believe in love or relationship or any of that in this life.

Love didn't excited outside his books and movies. The only anniversary celebrations we went to were his fathers'. The only wedding we went to was his sister's Rose. Other than that, nothing. None.

He never went out with anyone since Jesse. Some guys tried in college but he was a solid wall. A dead end.

_Flashback.._

"_I thought you said you would go to the coffee house to do your paper?" I said looking at an annoyed Christian walking to the living room with his messenger bag. He left fifteen minutes ago saying he'd be in the coffee house doing some paper but that wasn't what happened._

_Fifteen minutes weren't enough._

_He frowned at me. "I got annoyed. Some guy was trying to hit on me." He said before throwing himself on the couch taking a deep breath._

"_And?" I asked._

"_I splashed my mocha on his face." He said with a shrug._

"_You did what?!" I asked shocked._

_He shrugged. "He annoyed me and I wasn't in any mood to play games."_

"_Oh, okay." I said standing up walking to the kitchen. "I'll make you some mocha to relax."_

"_Thanks, Adrian." He said smiling to me gratefully._

"_You're welcome." I said with a nod before starting my mission._

"_Hey." He started again and when I turned to him I found him sitting on a stool with a curious look._

"_Yeah?" I said raising a brow._

"_Speaking of hitting on, why didn't I see you with girls since-" He shrugged. "Since high school?"_

"_So now we're discussing my love life?" I asked smirking._

_He shrugged indifferently. "Not really. But the last girl you went out with was Mia Rinaldi. The cheerleader from high school."_

"_I know whom was the last girl I went out with." I said before opening the fridge door taking out some milk._

"_And?" He asked me to continue._

"_I called her by someone's else name." I said with a shrug. The flashback of that memory was too strong._

_When I was having sex with the girl. I was about to come when I called Christian's name. I never told him about this. But he never asked about the real reason of our breakup being used to me changing girl every once in awhile._

_He burst out laughing. "You called her by someone else's name? Seriously, Adrian?!"_

_I nodded. "Yeah. While we were having sex. In her bed. When her parents were out of the town. When I was inside her literally."_

_He fell on the floor laughing hard. It was the first time he laughed that way since the summer vacation before our senior year. Since I drove him to that damned house._

_I laughed with him celebrating the first real laugh he had since that day. Closing my eyes while laughing I imagined me hugging him tightly, kissing his lips passionately, telling him that it was his name I called._

_I couldn't. I just kept it lock in my heart. I wasn't going to ruin what we had. I wasn't going to survive without him._

_End of flashback.._

"Okay, what's it?" Christian asked finally once we came out of my car. Folding his arms over his chest he blocked my way demanding an answer.

"Nothing." I said shaking my head. "I'm just daydreaming a lot today."

"You don't do daydreaming, Adrian." He said frowning. He was right. He was the daydreamer of the two of us. He and his silence hours.

I sighed. "What do you want me to say, Chris. I feel like daydreaming."

He shrugged noticing my way to end the subject. "Whatever." He turned around and walked in front of me to the restaurant.

I caught up with him at the door and we walked in together. Once we settled down the waitress came with the menus.

"Good evening, gentlemen." She said with a charming smile. She looked new to me since I never saw her before in the place despite all the times we came here.

"Good evening." We murmured. As we took our menus from her.

"Would you like a drink to start with, darling?" She asked leaning to me seductively trying to show some cleavage.

I frowned. The woman didn't know I preferred it flatter and muscular. To ditch her away from me and not being in any mood to tolerate any flirty remarks I turned to Christian and smiled lovingly. Something was easy to do since I only had to remove my only-friends mask.

"What do you think, Love?" I asked taking his hand that was resting on the table next his plate.

He looked at me stunned for a moment as I looked at the waitress without turning my head. He understood and smirked. "I don't know, darling."

I had to bite my lower lip not to laugh hard. That also wasn't hard as I watched Christian pretending to be my lover. I just wished he wasn't pretending. I wished it was for real.

"I think I know what you'd like, honey." I said with a smile saying the name of his usual drink before dinner. "Peach ice tea and only water for me."

I saw the woman glaring at Christian for a part of second before smiling a fake to me, nodding before walking away.

Christian chuckled. "Seriously, Adrian?"

"What?" I asked. "She was hitting on me and I wasn't in any mood."

"Maybe 'cause you're so stressed. I don't remember the last time you get laid. Hell, I don't think you remember." He said frowning at me. Christian wasn't for sexual talk but when he says such a thing it means it really had been too long.

"I remember the last time I got laid thank you very much." I said absentminded as I cherished my hold of his hand. I was so happy he forgot all about it.

"I don't believe you." He said sparing me a glance before looking back to his menu.

"Mia Rinaldi, high school." I said honestly. I wasn't ashamed, actually I didn't think about it. I was too charmed by his hand in mine.

He raised his head to me suddenly shock all over his face. "WHAT?! You got to be kidding me. Adrian Ivashkov, the infamous womanizer didn't sleep with a girl since high school?!"

"Do you need to put it in the newspaper?" I asked glaring at him. If I wasn't in love with him I'd totally hit him, hard.

He laughed shaking his head. "No thanks. I'm just surprised. I knew your rate had decreased a lot since high school. But to zero? What happened to you, Adrian? Seriously?" He asked.

My eyes were fixed on our joined hands when he asked the last question. When I looked up at him to answer I saw him following my sight to our hands.

I saw the surprise in his face as he pulled his fingers off mine before looking at me. "Adrian, what's wrong?" He whispered with a weird expression.

His face was like he was seeing me for the first time. It was like he recognized me for real for the first time. His tone when he asked was something different from anytime he asked me how I was doing.

We talked, all the time since that summer night but he never used such a tone. A really curious thoughtful tone. A tone was telling me something I couldn't understand.

"A lot of things happened, Christian. A lot of things." I murmured while my eyes roamed over his face trying to understand things.

"Things turning you a saint?" He asked raising a brow.

I snorted. "Hardly." I said with a shrug. "Not with this big sin I have, Chris."

"A sin?" He asked shocked. I wouldn't do all that holy religious usually so it was a shock for him hearing me saying that.

I nodded. "Yeah. Big one."

"Which is?" He asked.

"Remember that day when I told you why I broke up with Mia?" I asked resting back on my seat.

He nodded. "You said someone else's name while you were having sex."

I nodded. "Exactly. Well, didn't you ask why I did that?" He shrugged. "Because I was in love with this person. Still am."

He looked at me shocked. "You-" But then he shook his head. "You know I don't believe in that."

"You're wrong." I said fighting back. I hated how he denied my love to him even if he didn't know it was him.

He looked at me shocked. I never said such a thing. I never fought back against the believes he developed after his nervous breakdown. "You-"

I cut him off. "Yeah, I said you're wrong. Love do exist. I'm in love with someone and I never stopped loving that person since high school. Doesn't know or feel about me. Yeah. I know. I'm living with that every day since then. Yet, that doesn't mean I love said him any less."

Christian now was beyond shocked letting me know I said 'him' loud enough for his ears to hear very clearly. "Him? Adrian, you just said him?!"

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I'm gay. I love a dude. You happy now?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked a trace of hurt in his expression for me hiding secrets from him.

I sighed. "What's the point, Christian? Nothing is coming out of this love. I'm not enough for him. Not enough to fix his world or heal his wounds. He doesn't believe in love. He doesn't believe in my feelings. He doesn't believe in us."

Recognition followed the confusing in his face. A whisper I barely heard left his lips. "Adrian."

I sighed regretting my words. I shouldn't say that. I ruined it all. I ruined our friendship. I hurt my best friend. I fucked it up all. Literally.

Tears started to leak from his eyes. "Christian. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" I said extending my hand to wipe his tears but he didn't stay there. He jumped off his chair before I could touch him.

He was shaking his head. "No. Not that." He turned around and ran out of the place.

I threw some money over the table before running out of the place following him. Unusually the weather was a disaster. The rain was falling heavily all over the place.

"Christian." I called when I saw him trying to walk away. "Christian, wait." I ran faster catching up with him.

"Adrian, please." He said trying to get away from me.

"No." I said insisting. "You're not going out that way in this weather. Let me take you home." I sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm taking it back but please, Christian. I don't want you to get sick."

"You can't just take it back, Adrian." He snapped turning to me. His tears mixed with the rain. His hair was soaked with water.

"Christian, stop doing that to me. I love you. I always have and always will. I don't care about your past. I've been there. from the beginning. I never turned my back to you. I never failed you." I said begging him.

"I'm damaged goods, Adrian. You shouldn't love me. I'm not worth it." He said sadly the rain still pouring all over the place.

"You're totally worth it, Christian. My heart chose you and it was sure you're worth it." I said begging for him to understand. "Please, let me make you believe again. Please let me love you. Please, accept my feelings. I can't live without you. I'm not going to survive a day without you."

"You don't understand, Adrian. I'll only bring you pain. I'm not worth it. I can't give you what you deserve. It's not you. It's me. My feelings were gone once my virginity was taken from me. I'm not innocent. I can't be loved." He said shaking his head. His body was shaking in response to the dropping temperature.

"I don't care. I just want to be with you. I don't need anything from you to give me. Just accept me. Let me love you. Let me be with you." I begged him from the deepest part of my heart.

"You still didn't get it. I can't. It can't happen. I loved you once. Then I got damaged. I can't love again." He said shaking his head. "I wanted you to be the first. I wanted you to be jealous of the guys I was going out with but you never felt what I needed you to feel." He shook his head. "You were too occupied with being the school womanizer that you didn't notice my looks. My feelings to you. When I met Jesse I hoped. But nothing from your side that I thought maybe it's not Adrian that was supposed to be my first. Maybe I should give someone else a chance. And I did." He took a fistful of my shirt and shook me. "Do you know what happened?! I'd been raped. I can't love you again. It's too dangerous for me. I won't survive it." He said before running away from me crossing the road.

There I saw it. The car sliding over the road with the rain still as heavy as it could be. It was heading to crying Christian and he didn't notice it coming.

I shouted running to him. "NO CHRISTIAN." I pushed him away from the car to be hit myself.

"Adrian, oh god, Adrian." Christian screamed in pain. A scream that was filled of life and death together. I never heard him that emotional.

He fell on his knees next to me. "Adrian. No please. I'm sorry. Don't leave me. I'm sorry. I did this to you." He was sobbing crying like he never did before. Hell, he didn't cry that much when that damned thing happened to him.

"Adrian, please answer me." He begged.

"I love you. Always have and always will." I whispered to him. I lost the feeling of the pain awhile ago. It was overwhelming. Or was it Christian's embrace. "I just need you to remember that. And I'm sorry. My ignorance was the reason of you being raped. I'm sorry, Love." Then I smiled. "Don't cry. Please. It's going to be fine. Just promise you'll live your life. The right way. Don't bury yourself while you're still alive." I coughed several times before whispering for the last time. "I love you, Christian."

Then nothing, only blackness and silence. I didn't even hear Christian's grieving screams.

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**Hope you like it.**

**Review and tell me if you want the sequel.**

**Be happy safe and I love.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, this story is turning to three shots.**

**This is the second part.**

**So people, I'd NEVER KILL ADRIAN IVASHKOV.**

**Have some faith on me.**

**Now, this is for my favorite reader [Rose] You're so amazing I can't even describe you. Proud to have you as one of my readers.**

**Check my other stories. I've gay and straight stuff and I do amazing UD. **One of the reasons I don't get a lot of reviews. I'm not bad in writing too.****

**Enjoy R & R..**

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Christian's POV :

Once..

"I love you too." I sobbed for the first time.

Twice..

"I love you too." I whispered next to his ear before taking care of the flower putting them in their usual vase.

Thrice..

"I love you too." I said louder and clearer. This time I didn't even bother asking myself if it had been millions or billions of times that I said this three words to my lover lying in the same place for five years. They had lost hope but I never did. This time, I never stopped believing. I never stopped insisting that he was coming back for me.

Then again.. and again.. and again..

"I love you too." I said again this time with more trust holding his hand in mine. I wasn't afraid of loving him anymore. I didn't believe that fear can stop me from doing what I wanted.

It stopped me once and I lost the only man I have ever loved. The only man that actually wanted me. The only man that stood by my side my whole life, aside from my fathers.

Adrian Ivashkov was my best friend and first love. Even if he didn't look like that in his comatose state after that damned car hit him while he was trying to save my life from it. Even when every time I'd say to him 'I love you' and he wouldn't answer, that didn't change those facts about him. Even if he said it suddenly several times in one night only it didn't mean he loved me any less.

His last words never left my mind. _"I love you, Christian."_ That was something I'll never forget. I'll never let go to the last day of my life. And every day when I visited him, I'd answer his words with my own before pouring my heart to him. Telling him what he missed in our life.

I hated myself when my fear didn't let me answer him when he was suffering the pain of his wounds. I tried saying it but I chocked in my words.

I fought my fear and when I managed sobbing it but he didn't hear me. He had been wheeled unconscious to the operation room. Away from me. As I fell down on my knees crying my lost love.

I remembered the looks everyone was giving me. It was the first time I cried after recovering from what happened. I totally lost my icy façade showing my real feelings and grief.

He was in a coma. That was the doctor's announcement after I spent forty-eight hours of waiting next to my man in the ICU.

I didn't take a shower. I didn't eat anything except for what the kind nurse brought for me when I faint after all the exhaustion I suffered.

I needed both my fathers and Rose to drag me out of the ICU then my dad, Eddie, dragged me from the hospital back to the penthouse where he forced me into taking a shower and having a meal while Rose and papa, Mason, stayed with Adrian. that was the only way I was going to leave him for two hours maximum.

But days passed. Then days turned to weeks. And weeks turned to months. And month became years. Five years of waiting next to his bed.

I'd never stop visiting him. Everyday right after work I'd go to his room in the hospital, sit in the chair next to his bed. I'd hold his hand and let my tears run on my cheeks as I talked to him.

When my bed time would come, I left to our penthouse to lie on his bed where I have been sleeping on since the accident.

Even though my parents tired talking me into moving back with them. I couldn't do it. I wanted to be where I was living with Adrian. Where we shared our lives.

"Hey, Love." I whispered to the man lying on his bed before sitting on the chair next to him. "I miss you." And I took his hand in mine. "I wish you can come back to me 'cause I'm tired of living without you. I'm tired of fighting with your family in courts to keep you alive when they're demanding your death to have an easy closure." Then I sighed. "And easy money." I murmured to him remembering the time his parents decided it was the time to get the machines off him to die.

_Flashback..._

_I was walking to his room as usual when I saw Nathan and Daniella Ivashkov talking to the doctor. They were around when it was all new but then their visits decreased slowly fading away._

_It'd been a month since their last visit. A visit that got me disgusted over their lack of emotions when their son was concerned._

"_It'd take six hours maximum after taking the machines off." The doctor said explaining what I'd never let them do._

"_And he'd not survive without the machines, would he?" Nathan asked._

_The doctor shook his head. "No. Not in this condition."_

"_What the hell are you planning?!" I asked interrupting their conversation._

"_None of your concern, Ozera." Said Nathan angry when he saw me._

"_It's actually my business not yours." I turned to the doctor. "I'm not allowing this to happen. I'm the only one Adrian gave him the permission to decide what to do when he's in such a condition. I've the documents. He decided when he had his appendix removed when we were in college."_

"_This is a lie. Adrian never-" Daniella tried to object but I cut her off._

"_Yes, he did. I was there with him every step of the way. I was the one bringing him to the hospital in the first place. You can't do anything about his condition or the machines. You're not allowed."_

"_His our son." Nathan protested._

"_We've more of a relationship than you'll ever have with him, Nathan." I said glaring at him. "I said no one is taking anything off without my permission."_

"_You're messing with our son's life. He needs a closure. We need a closure." Daniella said accusingly._

_I snorted. "Don't lie to me, Daniella. That's not your concern. Adrian was your son only by name and you know that. He has been with me since college in California and none of us saw you. I'm not allowing you to come after all of these years demanding his death. Not now and not ever. Get the hell out of our life." I turned around hearing Nathan asking the doctor angry._

"_Can he do that?!"_

"_With that document. Yeah, sure." The doctor answered as I headed to Adrian's room._

_Since then they didn't come to visit but their lawyer never stopped annoying me. Calls and faxes then they decided it was time to sue me. The case isn't yet to end as both sides fought this heated war over Adrian's life._

_End of flashback.._

"You know, I'll never stop fighting for you. For us. I can't imagine a world where you don't exist. I can't tolerate such a world. You've been always my sun, Adrian. Always there to protect me and I always have you to depend on." A tear slid one my cheek. "I know I was wrong. When I didn't believe. When I lost the hope of love and being in love. When I denied your feelings.

"I know I was wrong 'cause I never stopped loving you. I forgot, maybe. But never stopped loving you. The feelings I had since high school still run through my veins. I'm in love with you, Adrian Ivashkov. Always have and always will.

"I just hope you'd give me a sign. Anything to tell me that you're there. Anything to relief some of my pain." I wiped the tears away taking a deep breath to calm myself.

"You know, Rose's daughter. Adriana, her birthday is tomorrow. I've to go and be with them but I'll be here to visit. You know I never skip a day of being with you.

"It's just that I'd be a bit late. 'Cause I've to attend the last assize of the case. Don't worry, I know we'll win. They can't hurt you as long as I'm here and alive." I kissed his hand softly. "Hope you don't mind me coming a bit late than usual but I'll come with some good news right?" Then I nodded. "I'll do that for you, Love."

"Good evening, Christian." Lissa, The nurse responsible for Adrian during the night shift entered the room smiling to me as usual.

"Hello, Lissa." I said with a nod smiling a small smile back.

She walked to the monitors next to Adrian's bed checking the data on it before checking Adrian. "Oh, we look refreshed today, Adrian." She said smiling to me sympathetically.

Lissa was a good soul, she was there when the accident happened and even though she'd change her shifts times every once in awhile one thing never changed. She was the best nurse to take care of my Adrian.

"Yeah. You weren't here last night. We shaved him pretty good this time." I said running the back of my fingers over Adrian newly-shaved cheek.

"I can see that." She said fixing the sheets. "You stopped cutting him now, huh?"

I flushed remembering cutting him a small cut when I was trying shaving for him the first time I tried to do it. "I stopped doing it by the second time." I told her and she nodded.

She brushed Adrian's silky messy hair with her slender fingers before saying. "I'll go now. Have a lovely night gentlemen." And she walked away.

"You know. I thinks she has it for you. All handsome and sexy but you know you're mine. No more guys or girls. Just me." I said teasing him pretending like he could hear me easily.

"I dreamt about you last night." I smiled remembering the dream of last night. "This time it was different. It was good."

_Flashback.._

"_Got you." Adrian said wrapping his arms around my body from behind. His tone filled of joy._

"_You already got me, Ivashkov." I teased him laughing._

"_You're so beautiful." He told me planting a kiss where my neck meets my right shoulder. "Even when you keep up with your smartass attitude and snarly mood, I still love you. Always have and always will. Nothing can change that."_

_I turned in his arms smiling as I wrapped mine around his neck. "I love you too. Always have and always will."_

"_But-" He tried to protest but I put my fingers on his lips stopping him._

"_No. It's the truth. I love you but then I was damaged. I forgot. I was afraid so I buried it away. I thought I didn't stand a chance with you when I was normal. When I was okay, healthy and innocent. But then I became dirty. Damaged. I lost the one thing I was keeping for you only. I don't have my virginity to give it to you as I promised myself years ago." That was his turn to put his fingers on my lips stopping me._

"_Shh. It's okay. I love you the way you are. It doesn't matter to me what happened. I'm not worried about who you became 'cause I know who my best friend. Christian, I knew you since elementary school then I relearnt you after that doomed day. I know it all. I've been there. It doesn't change my feelings. Maybe put them in more fire. Yeah. But nothing can stop me from loving you. Nothing."_

_I smiled to him pulling him closer, I hugged him as tight as I could manage. I didn't care that I couldn't breathe. I just wanted him as close as possible._

_And then I was gasping for a breath lying alone in Adrian's bed. It was a dream, that what I learnt._

_Covering my face with my hands I started crying like I every night. I cried myself to sleep._

_If I only could keep up with this dreams. If I only could go to a coma living in my dreams with Adrian. I only that was possible. But no, I was the one being left alone. Even his scent left his pillow a long time ago._

_End of flash back..._

"Adrian, I love you. More than my own life." I whispered to him before getting up noticing that it was past my usual time to go back to sleep. But who cares? I didn't have anything to go back to it in that cold place.

I leant over him to plant a kiss over his forehead before brushing some hair. "Be a good boy till I come back tomorrow, okay, love? And no flirting with the nurses 'cause I go jealous. You know that." I chuckled before brushing our lips together. "I heart you." Then I turned around and started walking away very very reluctantly wishing that the next time I'd come here he'd give me a sign.

The next day was worse than I had expected. The sitting was a disaster filled of accusation. Even though the judge decided I was the one to take care of Adrian's health it was so draining.

I was now sitting in my car where I had parked it in the drive way of Rose's house. Sighing deeply I asked myself why I wasn't in the hospital with the love of my life.

After what happened in the court I really needed him.

_Flashback.._

"_How could you give that fag the hand over my son's health?!" Nathan Ivashkov shouted angry._

"_We're demanding an appeal." Daniella insisted._

"_You can request on." The judge said simply after the sitting ended trying to leave the building through the wide hallway. "And I don't go all strict and unfair over people 'cause of their sexual orientation. Mr. Ozera can sue you for what you said about him." The judge said angry at the old man in front of him._

"_He kissed our comatose son for god's sake and our son isn't even gay." Nathan protested._

_The judge snorted. "Oh please, you don't know anything about your son whilst Mr. Ozera here has been living with him under the same roof for years before the accident. I'd be surprise if your son wasn't in love with the man." The judge said before looking at me smiling a small smile. "I think we're done here 'cause I've a lunch to attend. Have a nice day." And he walked away._

_I didn't spare a look at the couple standing near me with their lawyer. I just turned around still able to hear Nathan's harsh words._

_I won the case, right. But something in me was broken. Something in me was saying what's the point. I always kiss him on the lips before I'd leave but I was never responded to. I was talking for hours and hours but he'd never answer back. I'd cry and he'd never hold me or wipe my tears away._

_But something stronger shouted in me. It was more than enough to know he was alive. It was more than enough seeing him breathing. It was more than enough touching his skin and holding his hand. Much more than enough as long as he wasn't dead._

_End of the flashback.._

I walked out of the car to the front door. It'd been open and I could hear the noises coming from inside but was I ready.

It was Adriana's fourth birthday. Yeah, fourth birthday means that it'd been five years since the accident. Five years since I lost my man. Five years since my life fell apart without him.

I took a deep breath fighting my tears away when a warm gentle hand rested on my shoulder. I looked up to see my father smiling to me.

"Dad." I said surprised to see him out.

"Hello, son." He answered. "C'mon, everybody has been asking about you." He pulled my hand softly before walking me into the house.

I got hugs and kisses and all of that in a blur. I wished Adriana a happy birthday and gave her the gift I bought for her. I checked my two-month pregnant sister too.

"I don't know if I want to know the sex of the baby just yet." She said with a shrug caressing her stomach.

"And?" I asked raising a brown. Rose and I were always close to each other even if we used to annoy the shit out of one another but she was always there for me. ready to support and help me whenever I needed to. One thing had changed after Adrian accident was the fighting part. I missed it. Yeah. But I couldn't tolerate it.

"Daddy and papa want to know it sooner than later." She sighed. "I can't believe how exciting they are. They're more excited than Adriana, Stan and me combined." She sighed shaking her head.

"But hey that's a bonus. You can just ask them to babysit anytime you want, right?" I asked waggling a brow at her.

She chuckled and nodded. "You're right. That's totally right."

"What's it that right, Sexy?" Stan came in holding his pregnant wife from behind resting his chin on her head.

"Just Christian teaching me how to take advantage of our fathers' excitement about the new baby." Rose mischievously and I thought it was my sign to leave before the started making out in the middle of the kitchen with me there.

I passed by the library, and yeah it was Stan's and not Rose 'cause Rose hated books, to find my papa sitting there. I knocked on the door. "Hey, pa. You need company?" I asked.

He smiled and nodded patting the couch next to his armchair. "Of course, son." He said smiling. Just close the door behind you."

I nodded closing the door behind me then walking to the couch. I noticed the lightest traces of cigarettes in the air. A smell I grew familiar with for being the best friend of a famous smoker.

"Dad, what's that smell? Were you smoking again?" I asked raising a brow. "It was a bad habit he picked when dad had a long trip to Europe taking care of some business. "But I thought dad made you stop awhile ago."

"Who said I was smoking, Christian?" He asked raising a brow.

"Oh please. I can smell it all over the place." I said rolling my eyes.

"Don't tell your dad. He goes all irritated and angry and I really don't want to sleep in the couch tonight." He said with a sigh. Dad was so strict when it came to smoking but I could understand that.

Aside from the odor and the taste of pa's breath, which dad complained about for the whole time refusing to kiss my pa before using all kind of products to cover it, it was the fact that smoking was lethal and my pa was too young to lose his husband that way.

"But you know he's going to need you lips soon. Don't you think he'd smart enough to recognize the taste of tobacco in your mouth?" I asked raising a brow.

"And that's why they have mints candy, son." I frowned at him and he chuckled. "And different flavor, of course."

"Pa, you know I love you, right?" He nodded. "I just can't let you do this without telling you what I think. I see you and dad and I keep wishing that Adrian and I could have such a life. Together. But we can't 'cause he's in a coma for five years and I don't know if he's going to wake up or no." I shook my head before taking a deep breath. "My point is that the whole thing wasn't our actions. Adrian isn't in a coma 'cause he did something wrong. He was just trying to save my life. But you, sorry, but what you do is wrong. You know the risks of smoking yet you're breathing it behind dad's back knowing how much he hated it.

"And it's not just 'cause of the smell or the taste. He's worried about you. He doesn't want to lose you. And I think he's too young to spend his times next to your bed in the hospital 'cause you were too selfish and couldn't quit smoking. I know this is harsh but it'd be harsher when you live such a life. When you do this to yourself, it's not just you. It's us and most important, it's dad. Do you really want him suffering your loss when he can't even handle you coming home later than usual?" I asked begging him to understand what I was now passing through.

Pa looked at me for awhile before he sighed. "You're right, son. I can't do that to your dad. I was so selfish. I shouldn't do that. Hell, I can't imagine being the reason of Eddie's tears." He threw the packet at me. "Just throw it away. I don't want your dad finding it."

I nodded to him as the door was knocked. "C'mon in." I called and the door was opened revealing my dad smiling. He walked in gracefully.

"Hey there." My pa smiled to him extending his hand to take his before he gently pulled him to his lap.

"Hi." Dad said before turning to me. "Hi son. I was looking for you." He said smiling.

"I was coming to you when I found the old man alone here. I thought I could keep his company till you're free enough to do that." I said smirking at them.

Dad turned to pa and kissed him softly. "Poor you." Then he chuckled turning to me. "You're staying for dinner, aren't you?"

"Actually I was going to leave. I don't want to be late for Adrian's visit." I said frowning.

"We'll do the dinner earlier. Have some rest here and we'll call you once the dinner is ready." He said and I sensed how much he wanted me to stay. We couldn't spend a lot of time together after the accident.

I nodded smiling to him. "Okay, I'll stay." His face lit like it was Christmas morning 'causing pa to chuckle.

"You're such an easy happy father, Eddie." He said before the stood up. "Let's give the boy some time to rest." Dad nodded and I watched them leaving the room hand-in-hand.

My heart hurt a lot wishing that Adrian and I could have something like they had. It was just impossible. I already knew that.

Thinking about my lover, I fell asleep on the comfortable couch.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep. The only thing I remembered waking up at 8 o'clock. I jumped off the couch running out.

My family members were sitting around the living room talking when I ran into them. "Why none of you wake me up?" I asked angry.

"Relax, Chris. We tried you just kept murmuring about leaving you alone and being so tired." Rose said with a sigh.

"Shit." I murmured. "I got to go. I'll see you guys later." Then saying goodbye I left the house to my car driving like crazy to the hospital.

Once there I ran to Adrian's room but it was empty. Nobody was there. None. Not even the roses and the flowers filling the room. Nothing at all.

That when I understood what happened as I fell on my knees crying. "Oh god, Adrian." He was gone. He was gone and I wasn't even there.

"Christian, what are you doing here?" I heard Lissa's voice near me shocked.

I looked at her with pain all over me, my cheeks soaked with tears. "I lost him, Lissa. I lost him forever. I just won the case to keep him alive and-"

She chuckled shaking her head. "You didn't lose anyone, Christian. Adrian woke up last night just after you left."

"He- he did what?!" I asked shocked unable to form a coherent sentence. But maybe my brain understood 'cause my eyes watered even more and my tears were running harder than before.

"He woke up, Christian. Last night. First word he said was your name." She said extending her hand to me helping me to my feet.

"Oh god, he woke up. He's awake." I attacked the poor girl with a very tight hug. "My Adrian is awake." I said happily before spinning her around.

"Gee, Christian. Chill." She said laughing before I put her down.

"I need to see him." I said once I pulled her away. "Now. I need to see him."

She nodded. "Sure. We moved him to another wing. I just came to take some of the stuff you left in his drawer." She said smiling before walking to the room taking some books I left during the past five years. Adrian's favorites.

I took them from her before dragging her out of the wing to the elevator. I was all jumpy and exciting and I didn't even care about the tears still in my eyes.

"Tell me, Lissa. How is he? Is he okay? Did he ask about me?" I started showering her with questions once she pushed the button waiting for it to come to us.

She smiled. "I already told you, Christian. First word was your name. He was very disappointed when you weren't there but I explained to him that it had been five years and that you just left home after your daily visit."

We stepped in the elevator and it couldn't move fast enough. I felt like jumping out of my own skin to him. I felt like.. I can't even describe what I felt.

The ding sound came announcing our arrival to our destination. I took Lissa's hand and dragger her out. She barely managed guiding me to the wing and to him room.

I left her running to the room bursting the door open to freeze at the threshold. There lying the love of my life lying on the bed with the doctor standing next to his bed checking his heartbeats with the stethoscope.

They both turned to the noise of the door being opened all of a sudden. Our eyes locked and I had the stupidest shit-eating smile in the world. Slowly his smile came to fix itself on his lips.

"Adrian." I whispered walking to him fearing that if I got closer he'd disappear. Or maybe if I looked away for a fraction of second he might disappear.

Maybe I was still in Stan's library. Sleeping in that couch. It was just a dream. The part of me that didn't want to get hurt screamed at me to run away. Don't believe it Christian.

But my legs had its own mind and the took me to his bed. Luckily it wasn't set high so when I was next to it I fell on my knees my hand catching his cold ones.

"Tell me you're here. Tell me I'm not dreaming. Tell me I'm not still asleep on Stan's couch on the library."

He kept looking at me scanning the features of my now different face. It'd been five years and they easily left their traces on me.

I could imagine what he saw. Paler skin, dark shadows under my eyes, and thinner body. "What happened to you?" He asked.

"I'm not afraid. Not anymore. I'm in love with you. I want to be with you." I kissed his hand. "If you'd have me that is."

I saw tears felling his eyes as he understood what was going on. "Come up here. I'm too tired to move after five years of sleeping." He said that smirking his famous smirk.

I got up to sit on the bed next to him his hands still on mine. "Tell me you're real. Please, tell me you're awake for real this time. Say it's not a dream. Please." I said cupping his cheeks so gently like he might break or disappear.

"I'm real. You don't have enough imagination to create such a handsome awake face like me." He teased with a wink.

"God, it's you, Adrian. I can't dream of such a stupid comment like that." I said before attacking his lips with all that I had that moment.

I wanted to feel him. To taste him. To drink from the sensation that was his presence around me. He kissed me back. Not with the strength that was his five years ago but that was predictable after five years of coma.

"Say it." He commanded while our lips brushed against each other. "Say it and let me hear it for real."

"I love you. I love you more than my own life. I love you that it hurts. I loved you since middle school. I tried to hide it 'cause I didn't want to push you away. I loved you even after what happened. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I was in love with you for fifteen years, Adrian Ivashkov. And I'm still in love with you. There's no one for me but you." I said that before kissing his lips softly. "Will you have me back?"

He smiled to me and with weak trembling hands he pulled me to him. "I love you too. You're the only love for me. And after all of these years hiding our feelings I'd just say that of course I'd have you. It's about time we give in."

I chuckled before caressing his lower lip with the pad of my thumb. "It's about time."

And that was the moment when the doctor decided to clear his throat. We turned around to him and he seemed a bit awkward when he said. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I need to finish his examination before I leave home. You can resume when I leave."

I flushed as Adrian burst out laughing. That guy was shameless but I didn't really care 'cause I was in love with him.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Sooooooooo what do you think.**

**Next chapter would be the sequel.**

**Now tell me what you think. Pretty please.**

**Be happy safe and in love..**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, sorry for the late UD.**

**As promised I'm posting the last chapter of this story which has its epilogue too.**

**Hope you like it**

**Now read, enjoy, and review..**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Chapter 3 :

"Christian Ozera, put me down now." I complained loudly as the love of my life for ten years and my boyfriend for six months carried me from our bedroom to the kitchen.

He laughed ignoring me before planting a kiss on my temple. I couldn't help not to breathe in his scent that never failed in attracting me to him.

"Hold on, I don't want you to fell 'cause you're too lazy to lock your arms around my neck." He teased to decrease the sexual tension between us.

I nodded wrapping my arms around his neck. "Good?" I asked raising a brow he couldn't see as I buried my face in the crock of his neck.

"Great, actually." He answered lightly as his body warmth enveloped me as I studied the muscles under my hands.

Never crossed my mind that Christian body would change that way. But as my body turned thinner and my muscular mass decreased after the coma and my current condition of disability and limpness his body became more muscular and his physical strength increased very markedly.

It was all as a result of being my personal nurse. And when I said personal nurse, I really meant it.

After these changes, I would be the one to hold on to him. To sit in his lap. To curl by his side. The one being carried bridal-style between his strong arms. Arms that held me since the first day I woke six months ago. And to be honest, I loved it.

Not just 'cause I needed his support and his strength when I was in my weakest form. But 'cause it showed me my best friend. It brought him back from before that incident ten years ago. Yet he was different.

Stronger. Filled of confident. Fearless and very much reliable on. He was all this things before but now, they were showing themselves very clearly.

Finally we got to the kitchen and he put me down on the island before pressing himself between my parted knees with a smug smirk.

"You look beautiful today." He complemented.

"Shut up, Castle-Ashford." I complained glaring at him.

He chuckled smiling to his new surname before walking to the coffee machine.

And yeah, after all these years, he finally asked his parents to carry their name and they accepted that gladly. Eddie was over the clouds when Christian told him and I told him later that I'd like to carry that name too someday. Eddie couldn't be happier and neither was Mason.

As for my parents. Well, I wasn't much important to them as they tried causing my death when I was in my defenseless state. I feel grateful every day for the appendectomy I had when I was in college and being smart enough to sign the papers of permitting Christian over anything I had any relation with.

If it wasn't for that, I'd be dead. He'd be broken. And none of us would have had his happily ever after.

"Your coffee." Christian said handing me the cup he just poured for me. I took it gratefully with a smile watching him pouring his own cup.

"You know, you look sexy in our kitchen moving your ass everywhere and taking care of our food." I said giving him one of my famous winks.

He laughed at my expression before turning around shaking his ass extra gracefully to tease me. I felt my heartbeats becoming faster.

"Asshole." I murmured under my breath as he walked around the kitchen with his knee-length gray shorts and black tank top, that looked so good on him, preparing our breakfast.

"Pancakes or eggs?" He asked while digging in the fridge.

I shrugged. "I don't know. None?" I said raising a brow.

"We're having bacon and waffle." He announced before starting his task.

"Said who?" I asked annoyed by his way.

"Me. You just don't want to decide and the doctor keeps saying you need as much protein as you can get to restore your muscular mass." He said from his spot in front of the stove frying some bacon.

I sighed. He was always like that. Taking care an worrying over my health more than the doctor or even me. And that made me frown 'cause it reminded me that I'm still a disabled limped guy. Not that I'd ever forget it.

He turned the fire off before walking to me standing between my parted thighs. Leaning closer he started kissing every inch he could reach of my face. Forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks, temples, lips, jaw and chin. All of it.

And that made me excited as I responded wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me And as the time passed our making out scene was getting hotter. But when I tried to pull his tank top from over his head he stopped me pulling slightly away as we panted together.

I frowned fighting my tears before looking away from him. That was how it always turned out.

"What's it?" Christian now was wrapping his arms around my waist asking with worry. SERIOUSLY?

"Nothing." I answered trying to hide my real feelings shaking my head slowly.

"Liar." He replied knowingly.

"Is it guilt?" I asked him suddenly after a moment of silence looking into his eyes.

"Is what guilt?" He asked confused.

"You, staying with me. Is it 'cause you feel guilty 'cause of the accident? Do you blame yourself and wanted to feel better. 'Cause if that is the case then-"

"Shut up." He cut me off angry. "Are you crazy? I've been in love with you for sixteen years, Adrian, and you know that. Are you really asking me this question?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I mean what a healthy guy like you would want to love and have more than just friendship with a disabled like me?" I said speaking my mind loudly.

I never stopped thinking like that. It was hard not to when all of that was happening. Whenever things went heated between us he'd stop to pull away. Then he would behave like we weren't seconds away from giving up to our desires giving ourselves to each other completely for the first time.

And I'd pretend it was okay, but it wasn't. His rejection was killing me. "Seriously, Adrian? Are you saying that? Then tell me, what a rich handsome normal popular guy wanted to be and stay as the best friend of the freak emo gay? What did he want from him when people were looking and whispering and teasing? What was the point?" He shouted.

"He was in love with him but he never thought that this guy would become disgusted that he'd not allow their make out to get anywhere." I shouted back out of frustration.

That took Christian aback. The shock was clear in his expression. "Adrian." He whispered.

"Yeah, you always pull away. You always reject me then act like it was nothing. Why then saying you're in love with me? Why being with me in the first place?" I asked running my hand through my hair.

"Because I love you. From the deepest part of my heart. It's not your condition or state. If anything, you're hotter, sexier and more handsome, than before. It kills me to pull away. It kills me not to have you as much as I want. I'm always hot and bothered and horny just by the sight of you sleeping peacefully next to me. I had come undone several times just 'cause I was helping you having a shower or dressing. Hell, I once had an orgasm 'cause you were moaning while eating some vanilla ice cream." He sighed and I couldn't say anything. I knew he wasn't lying and that what shocked me.

"Yeah, I admit it. I'm pulling away 'cause I feel like a monster and sex freak checking you out all the time. I don't want to take advantage of you. I don't want you to be defenseless during our first time 'cause I know I can't hold back once we cross the line. I'm in love with you, Adrian. And that love mixed with desire turning me crazy. If I took you in this situation, I'd not stop. Then you might get hurt and I don't want to risk that. I can't risk it. believe me."

I took a deep breath as our tears leaked out of our eyes and over our cheeks. He took me to his embrace as we cried and through gasps he was whispering.

"I got you ,love. Don't worry about anything. We'll get over it together. And once you're ready, once both of us are ready, we're going to stay locked in our bed for at least a week or even more having the wildest sex in this life." He told me reassuringly and even when he tried to lighten the mood by his joke, I knew somehow that it held a lot of the truth.

"Promise?" I murmured the question on his chest.

"Of course I do." He answered.

"Good." I answered still secured between his arms.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

"C'mon, Adrian. You can do it." Christian called for me from the other side of the room waiting patiently.

It was physical therapy time. Eight months after I woke up from my coma and I couldn't be happier. Now we were working on my walking ability. I was insisting in that more than anyone 'cause I wanted to walk with him through the aisle to the altar without a limp. Without a wheelchair and without a cane.

That was my only condition when he proposed a month and a half ago.

_Flashback.._

"_Christian, you stupid, stop messing with me." I complained loudly as my boyfriend stopped me from taking off the blindfold he covered my eyes with._

"_I'm not messing with you. Stop being a baby and trust me for once." He replied pushing my wheelchair to the backdoor so we can be in our small privet beach._

_I was able to use the cane now but since I worked hard in my physical therapy I got some tired and it was easier for me to use the wheelchair. The doctor kept warning me about pushing myself too much._

_I sighed. "Fine. Are we there yet?" I asked._

"_Nope." He said with amusement._

"_You've been weird all day now this? Seriously, Christian, what's it?" I asked annoyed._

"_Nothing. Just a small surprise." He said simply before stopping the wheelchair securing its breaks._

"_Cam I take the blindfold off?" I asked my hands already on the fabric._

_He slapped my hands away. "Nooo. Just wait. I'll take it off for you. Now behave."_

_I sighed shaking my head. He was crazy and I wanted to hit him. So bad. "Bastard." I murmured._

"_I heard you." He called from his spot a bit far from me._

"_Stop teasing me." I complained through gritted teeth._

"_I'm not teasing you." He sighed approaching me. Finally he took the scarf off for me to see._

_Now Christian was kneeling on one knee smiling at me with love and happiness and excitement and nervousness. "What's it?" I asked confused._

_He took my hand and kissed it before answering. "I love you. You're my everything, Adrian. I can't live a second without you and being at the edge of almost losing you showed me that you're my whole life. I know if things were a bit normal you'd prefer to be the one asking this but then, we're one soul, right?" He held a mall box for me. "Adrian Ivashkov, would you do me the extraordinary pleasure and honor of being my husband and lover for the whole eternity?" He asked and I gasped. Never did I see that coming._

"_Christian, I don't know what to say." I said shocked._

"_Say yes?" He suggested cupping my cheek with one of his hand. "Please."_

_I looked around as my brain tried its best to process what my boyfriend just asked me. married? Who? Me? To whom? A guy? Christian? Of all people? Well, if you think about it, he's the longest relationship I've ever had in my life so it's only logical._

_And speaking of the place. You wouldn't believe what he did. The whole place was decorated with candles and colorful light. And on the sand some distance away from us the candles were arranged._

'_Merry me? Pretty please'_

_I turned back to Christian to see the tears and hurt filling his eyes. I didn't notice I took that long. So I squeezed his hand and smiled._

"_Are you going to help me getting rid of the Ivashkov name?" I asked._

_He gasped. "What?"_

"_I mean if I said yes, are you going to let me carry your name? Castle-Ashford?" I repeated with cockily enjoying the shock in his face._

"_Huh? Yeah, sure. If you want to. I mean-" He was babbling so I pulled him for a kiss he was too shocked to respond to._

"_Yes. I accept your offer. I want us married." I said to him finally._

_He grinned happily before shouting. "He Said Yes." Before pulling me for a very tight hug and passionate kisses._

_End of the flashback.._

"You did it." He shouted once I threw myself in his arms spinning me around happily. God, that guy was growing more muscular than before. I couldn't be compared to him. Hell, you can barely see the resemblances between his old and new self. But was it only 'cause of helping me? Or was it love and happiness too?

XxXxXxXxXxX

I looked at him and smiled as we both walked down the aisle together ready to get married. I know it was weird to do that but we did it.

It wasn't 'cause my parents couldn't walk me, 'cause they could. But it was Adrian whom didn't have parents to walk him. My dad, Mason, offered to do it to Adrian but I protested saying if anyone was going to walk him, it'd be me. We were best friends and family and I'd like him to walk me himself too.

The look of happiness in Adrian's eyes was indescribable. And here we were, after a year of his awaken, walking together in our wedding day with our family and friends witnessing it.

And there were vows to be said..

I just looked at his green eyes and my heart knew what I had to say..

"Adrian, you're my everything. My saver, my lover and my best friend. I don't want to think of my life if you weren't in it. I don't want to imagine it without you.

"When we were kids you were my best playing buddy, then when we grew up you became my crush and then as we grew more, you became my love." I sighed. "Then when my days turned dark and I lost myself in my grave you were there. You saved me. Literally. Then you made it your soul goal to save my soul and lost self.

"You collect my shattered heart. You healed it. You made me whole again. And if it was for a day, a year, or even a thousand of years, I was to spend all the time I have with you. All of it and no exception.

"I promise to love and cherish you to the last day of our life. I promise to love you even when I hate you. I promise to be by your side to catch you. I'll be your everything that you need, till eternity end and even after that."

Then it was him to speak..

"Christian, I know I realized it late. I know I should have seen it earlier but I didn't and for that I'm sorry. My love to you was the fire that kept me alive for all these years.

"Five of fear and hiding, five of coma and unconsciousness, and one of recovery. And here we are. We survived it all 'cause our love is stronger that all of it. Our love has roots deep in us that it has no end.

"You saved my life, for real. When they all gave up and wanted their own closure you fought for me. You didn't let go and I'm so proud you did all of that.

"And for the past one year, you taught me how real love is supposed to be. How to relay on someone to the level that you'd jump in fire 'cause you know he'd not let it touch you.

"There's no life for me without you, Christian." He said and sighed.

"And there's nothing for me without you, Adrian." I replied hearing the gasps and sobs coming from our audiences as our tears ran over my cheeks.

And the flashbacks filled my heart and soul..

Kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, out of the closet to him, high school. Disastrous dates, crying and hoping, then raping.

Being saved by him, then recovering next to him.

College, living together, jobs, never apart. Then that scary night six years ago.

The coma, the most terrible five years of my life. Then his awaken.

My life coming back to me. His recovery, the proposal that I kept dreaming of for my whole life. And finally us here. in our wedding. Together. Forever and even after that.

"..husband and husband. You may kiss your husband." I heard these words being said before I he attacked my lips with hunger, and people were cheering around us.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." I replied before kissing him once again.

"Stop doing that." he managed saying between our hungry kisses. "I'm too horny and can't wait for tonight. If you kept doing this I'll have to take you for the first time in front of everyone."

I pulled away flushing as he smirked at me. "Jerk."

"Jackass." He replied before pulling me to our family to receive their hugs and congratulations.

.

"What's it, Sexy?" He whispered in my ear seductively pulling me out of my trance.

"Huh?" I turned to him trying to clear my head as it was filled of a lot of happy memoires.

"I said what's it? You've that sexy happy grin. Were you remembering stuff?" He asked winking dirtily.

"Not what you want that's for sure." I said teasing him.

He shrugged sitting next to me putting the cup of hot milk in my extended hand. "Careful, love. It's hot."

"Don't worry, I'm so used to hot." I smirked before turning away coughing.

He frowned with worry. "You really need to take that syrup, Chris. Your cough is so loud."

"You know I hate it. Don't worry, I'll be fine." I answered back trying to assure his worried self.

"You know you're not as young as you were years ago. You can't just go out during December with our spoiled dog, Max, walking on the beach with not much thick clothes." He told me with a sigh.

"But-" I tried to protest.

He shook his head. "No. Next time I'm taking you Christmas shopping so you wouldn't do such a thing."

"And who is going to take care of the kids?" I asked folding my arms over my chest.

"Your parents. Rose and Stan. Themselves. Christian, Sydney is already fifteen years old." Adrian said frowning at my overprotectiveness.

"Yeah, but Ethan is still eight and he's still fighting with the twins." I tried to explain my worries caused by the constant fighting between our ten-year-old twins and their eight-year-old brother.

"That's why I talked to them earlier. They felt guilty that you got sick. They don't want their papa sick during Christmas. Who's going to make us dinner?"

"No, you didn't do that? You guiled them into thinking that, Adrian? Seriously?"

He shrugged. "It worked like magic."

"And don't say Sara can take care of herself too." I said using the card that was our three-year-old baby girl.

"Sydney can babysit her. We can take her with us if you insist. The point in, next year, we're going together. Just like we used to since middle school." He said and I gave up. He was right. I missed doing that with him.

"Okay, okay. We'll do that next year. I promise." I said nodding.

He grinned happily before taking my now empty cup from me putting it on the bedside table. "Cuddle with me?" He asked.

I grinned and nodded as he slid with me under the blanket wrapping his strong arms around my body. We cuddled together silently barely whispering some 'I love you' and 'you're my life' and 'you're my Christmas'.

"Need some company?" We heard the male voice coming from the door. We turned to find our oldest son standing with his brothers and sisters around him.

"Mason, c'mon in. All of you." I grinned to the freshman college student and my oldest son that I didn't see since thanksgiving.

"Hi, papa." He said walking in with his adopted siblings. He came and sat at the edge of the bed next to me hugging me tightly. Adrian was smiling and I knew he already reunited with our oldest son.

"Did you grow more?" I asked when he pulled away giving me a good look at him.

"Yep." He said proudly hugging my smaller body to him. 'Cause you see I already lost some of my muscular mass after Adrian's recovery and 'cause of ageing not that I was old. I was barely 42 years. Also, Mason was muscular by nature and an athletic.

I sighed before I smiled watching, James and Jackson, the twins trying to cuddle near my thighs with a small blankets around their bodies. "What are you doing guys?" I asked.

"Giving you warmth, papa." Jackson said.

"You'll feel better after that." James promised and I chuckled.

"Thank you so much. That's so nice." I said ruffling their new haircuts.

I turned to see Sydney talking to Adrian with a small smile before handing him Sara so he could play with her. She saw me looking at them and grinned.

"How do you feel, papa?" She asked handing me some thick scarf so I could put it around my neck.

"Better. Thanks for the milk." I said smiling to her. She was such a great responsible daughter and I was so proud of her.

"You welcome. Tell me if you want anymore." She said before I heard a thud with some weight being pressed one me.

"Ethan." Mason tried to take his brother off me. "Papa is sick. You can't do that to him."

"But papa-" Ethan started to protest so I pulled him to me hugging his small body to my chest.

"It's okay, Mase. What's it, buddy?" I asked the teary-eyes child sitting on my lap.

"I'm sorry 'cause you're sick, papa. I shouldn't have insisted in getting out to have a run with Max." He said locking his short arms around my neck.

I nodded. "It's okay, I forgive you. And your dad has already decided no more walking in the beach during December."

"It's okay, as soon as you don't go sick." He told me before cuddling to me. I smiled hugging my youngest son.

"So, how's it going with your cousin, Mase?" Adrian turned asking awhile later. Awhile that was enough for the four youngers to fall asleep in our bed.

Mason grinned excitedly. "Pretty good actually. She's going to spend some time with her family but she'll come when they come for the Christmas eve." He grinned.

I snorted. "I'd like to see the look on your grandparents' faces when they find out you're dating Amanda, Rose's daughter."

Adrian chuckled. "And they said gay couple can't raise straight sons and daughters."

"She's her first cousin, Adrian." I told him with a smirk.

"We're not related by blood, papa." Mason protested.

"Besides, we're in California. They don't let gay couple get married here but they allow first cousin to." Adrian said suddenly interested in LGBT rights.

"And we went to NY. And we got married. Then you took me to Canada to confirm that." I told him with a sigh.

Since we couldn't get married here in California, Adrian and I decided to go to the big apple and have our wedding there. That gave us the same rights of any married couple in California except being named married according to the Californian law.

Now Adrian, just to be sure, dragged me to Canada with our family so I could have my dreams wedding at the beach. Crazy? I know.

****AN : That something I found in the Wikipedia, it doesn't say anything about my opinion regarding that. I don't even live in America.****

Adrian shrugged before hugging me to him. "You know what? I don't care. We're married 'cause we believe that. I don't need anyone to confirm it for me." And he kissed my lips softly before sliding off the bed.

"Where are you going?" I asked frowning.

"To put the kids in their bed." He said gesturing at our sleeping sons.

I shook my head. "Let them sleep here for tonight." I said smiling to their sleeping figures. "And let's go have a cup of cocoa in the living room."

"We're making it and dad can help you out." Mason said jumping off the bed with his sister running out of the room. Sara was already in her small bed that I kept in our room during winter.

Adrian came to my side helping me up then wrapped the thick robe around my body. "You warm?" He asked hugging me from behind.

I leant into him and nodded. "Yeah. As long as we're together."

"Forever, Love. Forever."

"And even after that." I told him with a smile before he took my hand leading me out of the room to the living room.

"You know, regarding all of what happened, I think we did good with our life." He said smiling when we heard the older two of our children arguing about the milk.

I smiled and nodded. "I think you're a bit wrong. I think we did perfect." I leant to him pressing a kiss on his lips before resuming our walk to the living room.

**The end..**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**That was it.**

**How did I do it? Good, bad? Hate it, love it? Just tell me 'cause I really tried to do it as best as I managed.**

**Be happy safe and in love.**


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